Saturday, 2 August 2014

Three Legged Tales - Tail One, The Job Interview

It's a big day for Pete the Pins.

He puts down the phone and smiles.

At last, the breakthrough he's been craving for. And the best of it is, the woman on the phone sounded very nice. Surely, the job is his. 

In the bag as they say.

Could he come down?

Nothing too formal. But she would like to meet him before confirming the job.

Sure thing.

He puts the phone down and smiles.

Then realises there's just one small problem.

Who would look after the dog?

In the end, Pete decides there's no problem. Nothing too formal the woman had said. In that case, Pete reasoned, she wouldn't mind if he brought Tom, the three-legged labrador along with him.

After all, if nothing else, Tom might win him the sympathy vote and help secure him the job.

Yes, Pete could see things panning out just right.

By this time tomorrow evening he would surely be the official acupuncturist in The Laurels Health Clinic.


Pete sits at the wheel. Tom slobbers and occasionally vents flatulence in the back. It's a longish drive through pleasant countryside.

The Laurels is situated in a leafy part of town. Pete smiles at the thought of all the well-healed customers who will soon be seeing him in these salubrious surroundings.

Naturally, Pete feels the pre-interview butterflies in his stomach as he and Tom wait on the doorstep. Informal or not, Pete wants to create a good impression.

It's a grand place with a fresh green door. Pete breathes deeply and straightens his shoulders as the door swings open. The lady of the house has a coppery coiffure with brassy highlights and very pink lacquered nails.

Pete smiles and gets to the first syllable of 'hello'.

Three-legged Tom rockets down the hallway, claws tick-tacking on the hall lino in ferocious pursuit of a tabby cat that makes an emergency detour up the salmon pink stairs.

Oh God, I'm sorry Pete says as he brushes past the blinking, but distinctly glamorous clinic manager and hopefully prospective employer.

The cat scoots into the bedroom.

For a three-legged dog, Tom's awfully fast.

Escape options are now extremely limited, and for want of a coherent plan, the cat leaps onto a bedside table adorned with a collection of glass figurines.

The cat has a split second in which to realise that this is at best only a temporary solution and leaps away just in time to avoid the three-legged labrador that comes crashing down on the table killing off the remaining figurines that the cat has somehow delicately missed.

Pete looks at the sugary glass splintered and scattered on the carpet and turns as the owner of the clinic and now former curator of a priceless glass figurine collection enters the bedroom.

It sure is a funny venue for a job interview Pete thinks as he wonders how to introduce himself.

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